So to stop beating around the bush, keeping you in suspense ill begin in August. I took the month off. Why? I have no idea. I had this strong urge at some point earlier this year to take a month off. I felt like my skin was crawling and that i needed to shed things. I started my August in Israel visiting a good friend. I spent 10 days on a couch feeling like i had no direction. As each morning would pass consisting of me waking up around noon, spending the day tanning and reading books. I began to realize that i have had no clue who i am. I had been living life according to how everyone else wanted me to live. My job at the time (tho i was making a great name for myself) felt foreign. I didnt recognize myself. Each day in Israel forced me to get in touch with myself, and learn to love who i am. Not just what people viewed everyday. I gained a strength that i never knew i had living inside of me. When i returned to NYC i felt light and free. My next stop was to Reno to link up with my parents and my sister and brother in Law. For the rest of that trip i knew something in me had changed. We traveled to Lake Tahoe. Where i think i heard nature speak to me. I finally was able to breath and feel the air fill my lungs. Coming back to NYC again was tough. I spent a few days before i returned to Xenas vegging out, eating brunch, and sitting outside people watching. My first day back was unusual. I felt like i had to explain myself for my month off. But all i wanted to do was keep that precious month as something sacred that helped me get through my days and nights in an environment i didn't feel formatted for anymore. The most life changing moment came when i was approached by my boss just 4 work days into my return. He questioned me about my freelance work. And soon after that fired me. I have never been fired before. But all i can say is that it gave me such a feeling of freedom i don't think i can describe. I had no clue the weight i had felt being there until i was set free. Now just to clarify. I was extremely loyal to Xenas Beauty Company, and i would have given anything to help that place out. And i still see them as a family i was so blessed to have the past 7 yrs. But with all of my emotional growth this past summer, I think the best thing was them letting me go. I have been forced to face myself head on. And in a way realize my worth. I am so blessed to have Alexis Wheeler not only as someone i see as a mentor, but as someone who has taken me in and shown me that i can do anything. Being "unemployed" has been scary. But at the same time a beautiful challenge for me.
I am a free bird that has had such an amazing chance to see the world from a new perspective. Day by Day i am more and more thankful for life. And for the opportunity to shed that skin that was so awkward and uncomfortable.