So to stop beating around the bush, keeping you in suspense ill begin in August. I took the month off. Why? I have no idea. I had this strong urge at some point earlier this year to take a month off. I felt like my skin was crawling and that i needed to shed things. I started my August in Israel visiting a good friend. I spent 10 days on a couch feeling like i had no direction. As each morning would pass consisting of me waking up around noon, spending the day tanning and reading books. I began to realize that i have had no clue who i am. I had been living life according to how everyone else wanted me to live. My job at the time (tho i was making a great name for myself) felt foreign. I didnt recognize myself. Each day in Israel forced me to get in touch with myself, and learn to love who i am. Not just what people viewed everyday. I gained a strength that i never knew i had living inside of me. When i returned to NYC i felt light and free. My next stop was to Reno to link up with my parents and my sister and brother in Law. For the rest of that trip i knew something in me had changed. We traveled to Lake Tahoe. Where i think i heard nature speak to me. I finally was able to breath and feel the air fill my lungs. Coming back to NYC again was tough. I spent a few days before i returned to Xenas vegging out, eating brunch, and sitting outside people watching. My first day back was unusual. I felt like i had to explain myself for my month off. But all i wanted to do was keep that precious month as something sacred that helped me get through my days and nights in an environment i didn't feel formatted for anymore. The most life changing moment came when i was approached by my boss just 4 work days into my return. He questioned me about my freelance work. And soon after that fired me. I have never been fired before. But all i can say is that it gave me such a feeling of freedom i don't think i can describe. I had no clue the weight i had felt being there until i was set free. Now just to clarify. I was extremely loyal to Xenas Beauty Company, and i would have given anything to help that place out. And i still see them as a family i was so blessed to have the past 7 yrs. But with all of my emotional growth this past summer, I think the best thing was them letting me go. I have been forced to face myself head on. And in a way realize my worth. I am so blessed to have Alexis Wheeler not only as someone i see as a mentor, but as someone who has taken me in and shown me that i can do anything. Being "unemployed" has been scary. But at the same time a beautiful challenge for me.
I am a free bird that has had such an amazing chance to see the world from a new perspective. Day by Day i am more and more thankful for life. And for the opportunity to shed that skin that was so awkward and uncomfortable.
amazing !!
ReplyDeleteNot only do you cut and style really well, but your writing skills are awesome and the story is beautiful!
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